Please Help Me Bring Back the Love of My Life. Part I

Often I receive emails asking me how to use the Law of Attraction to attract a certain person--usually for romantic purposes. One woman, in her 40's, wrote to me this week and has given me permission to share some of our correspondence with you. Perhaps you (or someone you know) will recognize the feelings expressed here:

"Please can you help me understand how to bring back the love of my life. We only dated for a short time but I know he is the one. He has been hurt badly and didn't want to end things with me but felt he had to because he was frightened he would be hurt again. It was a very emotional ending for both of us.

I love him so much that I let him go and I respect him so I have stayed away to give him time and space. We have been apart for three months. In my heart I know that we are meant to be together but even though I was so sad and in despair I still felt loving and kindness towards him and my thoughts were always hopeful. And in my longing and praying several 'co-incidences' have happened.

Not long after we split up I started searching the web for anything that could give me advice about winning back the man I love and discovered the Law of Attraction. . .Can you help me?"

Sometimes a man will write to me in a similar vein:  "I'm in love with this wonderful (or beautiful) woman. I know she is the one for me. Our paths have crossed often. How can I get her to notice me (or go out with me)?"

In part one of this two-part series, we'll look at why you are NOT in a relationship with the "love of your dreams." In part two we'll look at what to do when a seemingly "perfect partnership" falls apart. I hope that while reading both you will also understand how the Law of attraction DOES bring the true Mr./Ms. Right your way – because it will work!

Part one: "Why am I NOT in a relationship with the love of my life? What's happening here? Is the Law of Attraction at work?" Of course it is!

The Law of Attraction is always reflecting back to you your vibration. Remember:

You can know what you are vibrating by observing what IS showing up in your life. When you think you are in love with someone—and are sure they are "the one," but cannot seem to convince him or her or attract him or her, then they are NOT "the one". If they were, you would already be in a relationship with them--a natural, mutual, harmonious relationship that both of you equally gravitated toward.

Two scenarios are really at play here:

You are in love with the idea of this person being in love with you. That someone with these physical attributes, or character traits, or successes in life could want to be with you is an exhilarating idea.

What often happens is that you meet someone who has five (or ten) characteristics that you are looking for in your ideal partner and you assume that he or she is your "ideal mate." You think, "This is it! I've found 'the one' for me for the rest of my life." However, the attraction just doesn’t seem mutual and you do not understand why. Didn’t the Law of Attraction bring them to you? Well, the real question is are they looking for someone like you? Are you a vibrational match for this person?

Remember that the person you are looking at may only appear to have the qualities you desire. Underneath the exterior clothing of beauty and success, there may be person with entirely different goals, beliefs and core values than yours. Even if you are very similar, what is he or she looking for? The role of their ideal mate may be very different from one you would truly like to play.

The second scenario goes like this:

You are in love with the idea of being “allowed” to love this person Seeing their potential and their needs, you may also see how “helpful” you could be for them as a mate. Searching for love with this motive is especially dangerous because, sadly, more often than not there is simply an insecure, life-draining person there, hoping to find someone to give their life meaning and purpose. (Not a healthy thought.) Victims attract someone who can make them a victim again. The poor attract someone who can enable them to continue in their poverty. The Law of Attraction is not fooled, nor can it be manipulated through words and expressions of desires that are not in alignment with the truth.

But you see so many people around you happy and in love, why does it not come your way?

Here is how the Law of Attraction does work, and how you can make it work for you:

In order to attract the "ideal partner"-- someone who is in vibrational harmony with who you are--you must be what you seek.

Are you looking for someone who is kind? You must be kind. Do you want someone with good looks? You must care about how you look. Do you want someone who will make a commitment to you? Ask yourself, "Do I keep commitments?" Do you want someone who is successful? Ask your self, "Am I vibrating success?"

Remember, the Law of Attraction is bringing to you exactly what you are vibrating. If you want something different in your life, you must change yourself--your vibration. It's an inside job and you can only change yourself-- you can't change someone else's vibration.

I referred to the second scenario as especially dangerous for this reason exactly – you can’t change someone else, and while trying to do so you stop concentrating on yourself, stalling any change and growth that may need to occur in you.

You CAN attract your ideal partner. You CAN find joy in a healthy relationship. Just start with yourself:

• KNOW yourself 
• ACCEPT yourself 
• HONOR yourself 
• TRUST yourself 
• LOVE yourself 

When you do, the most perfect relationships happen in a perfectly natural way.
Why? Because your healthy relationship with yourself is reflected in your healthy relationship with that significant other.